Introduction
Men's Room Etiquette
A Note on Safety
Becoming Proficient with Stand-to-Pee
Devices
Standing to Pee: STP Devices (non-packers)
Standing to Pee: STP Packers
Introduction
For many trans men, using the men's room for the first time is a big step in the
transition process. This section provides information on using the men's room
safely, as well as on methods and products that can be used to urinate while
standing. This includes devices that serve as both a packer and as a stand-to-pee
(STP) device.
It should also be noted that certain genital surgeries can include a procedure called a "urethral hookup," which allows the recipient to urinate through his surgically constructed penis. Details of such surgical procedures are not covered in this section, but are covered in the section on genital reconstruction surgery.
Men's Room Etiquette
While women's restrooms often involve social interaction and keen observation
among the women who use them, men's restrooms are usually more "down to
business." That is, most guys in the men's room don't look at one another
for more than a second (if at all), there usually isn't much chatting going
on, and the vast majority of men aren't scrutinizing carefully who is using
the bathroom at any particular time. This is a bonus for those in early stages
of transition, as most men won't be looking for small details to see if you
"belong" there or not. If you are being read fairly consistently as
a man (or as a boy if you appear younger), and walk into a men's room with confidence
and purpose, you probably will not raise any eyebrows.
Most men's rooms will have a combination of urinals and stalls, or at the very least one stall (we've all got to sit down at least once in a while to take a crap). Most stalls will have doors on them, so you can do your business in private if you need to. Not all men stand to pee, and even if they do, some men prefer to use a closed stall while standing to pee, rather than using a urinal. So if you haven't mastered a stand-to-pee device for use at a urinal, or simply don't want to use one, you can feel fine using a stall and sitting down. If you feel self-conscious about sitting to pee, you can spend a little extra time in the stall as if you were taking a crap.
Another thing you might notice when using the men's room is that there is a lot less inhibition than in women's rooms about grunting, farting, or otherwise making noise while sitting on the toilet in the stalls. So, feel free to use the stalls and not worry much about it. If you do come across a stall without a door (this is rare but it happens), you may be able to drop your pants and sit down quickly to avoid exposure, but do so only if you feel the environment is safe.
If you choose to use a stand-to-pee (STP) device or have had a surgery that allows you otherwise pee standing up, you may wish to use a urinal. If that is the case, basic urinal etiquette should be followed. That is, if there are a row of urinals available, take one that is not directly next to another guy who is already peeing. If you are in a ridiculously crowded restroom (like at a large event), and you absolutely must stand directly next to someone else, be sure to keep your eyes forward and don't touch or bump the guy's elbow that is next to you. Step up, get your business done, flush, and walk away. Don't take a peek at another guy's penis, and don't make eye contact while at the urinal. If you do make any eye contact in a men's room, it should be brief and only as a point of acknowledgement.
A Note on Safety
It should be noted that if you are not yet being read as male on a regular basis,
and/or if you are not feeling confident or safe about using the men's room in
any situation, it may be best to find another bathroom arrangement. Most men's
restrooms are not dangerous places, but in some circumstances it may be wise
to avoid potential trouble. If you are experiencing such issues around restroom
use, you may want to seek out a single-stall bathroom when possible, or wait
for either the men's or the women's room to empty out (whichever is safer and
more appropriate for the situation), use the facilities quickly, and move on.
In many situations, using the men's room will be perfectly safe-- it just pays
to use caution when necessary.
Becoming Proficient with Stand-to-Pee Devices
Using a stand-to-pee device usually takes some practice. Practice at
home and have it down cold before trying it in a public men's room. For your
first few times trying out an STP device, you may wish to practice while standing
undressed in the bathtub, so if you have leaks you won't mess up your clothes
or the floor. Once you have mastered the device in the tub, you can move on
to trying it while undressed in front of the toilet at home to get used to aiming
the device. Then try it in clothes in front of the toilet. Once you have mastered
the use of the device, think about how you will carry it (if it is not an STP-packer),
how you will discreetly put it in place, where you will put it when done, how
you will keep it clean, etc. In other words, before you start to use the device
in a public restroom, have a plan for how it will work. Do a few practice runs
at home. The last thing you want to do is show up at the restroom, fumble with
your STP device, and drop it in the toilet or in the urinal in front of you!
Keep in mind that there is no shame in using the stalls if you don't want to use an STP device-- though such devices can come in handy in situations when you would prefer to stand and pee, such as dirty restrooms, travel situations, or camping outdoors. Plenty of guys use the stalls, so don't feel you have to stand if you don't want to.
Coffee Can Lid/Flexible Plastic Disc
This is a rather simple device that can be easily made at home. Take the
flexible plastic lid from a can of coffee grinds, or from a similar package
(like a cottage cheese container), and cut away the lip so it is flat. The lid
needs to be flexible enough to roll into a funnel shape or a U-shape for use.
Hold the funnel end/U-end far enough back so that you position it behind your
urethral opening, aim the pointed end down toward the toilet bowl, and pee.
You will have to practice to get the hang of it. You can also experiment with
trimming and rolling the device in a manner that works best for you. These devices are
easy to carry and conceal in your back pocket, or even in a small pocket in
your underwear. Very fine grit sandpaper can be used to smooth out any rough
edges.
Medicine Spoon
Medicine spoons are small, inexpensive plastic devices that can be found
at most pharmacies. The wider end of the spoon (the "scoop" end) is
held against you, between the labia, to create a seal around the urethral opening.
This is the end that you pee into. Cut off the tip at the other end (the handle
of the spoon) at a 45 degree angle, so that the tip points downwards when the
spoon end is up against you. This is the end the pee flows out of. You will
have to practice at home to find the correct placement for the spoon so you
don't have leakage. Some people trim/sand down any sharp edges they may find
on their medicine spoon, or may otherwise modify it to suit their needs. Very
fine grit sandpaper can be used to smooth out any rough edges.
The FTM U-Tube
www.thetransitionalmale.com/ftmutube.html
The FTM U-Tube is also a variation on the medicine spoon design. There are two different sizes available: the FTM U-Tube Regular and the FTM U-Tube Mega-Flow (the Mega Flow features a longer receptacle end). The receptacle used with the FTM U-Tube is made from a pre-fabricated medicine spoon and attached to amber, medical grade latex tubing. The receptacle end is dipped in special rubber coating for comfort, and comes with a blue cap to cover the receptacle when not in use. Cost is $10 for Regular and $15 for the Mega-Flow.
The TravelMate
www.travelmateinfo.com
The TravelMate is a modification of the medicine spoon that was created specifically for standing to pee. It is designed to fit comfortably
between the labia to form a leak-free seal. It is made of soft, flexible, medical-grade
plastic that springs back to its original shape after being bent. Cost is $6.59
for one, $17.95 for three. A section of medical-grade thermoplastic tubing
can also be purchased for $1.80 per foot. They have a "no questions asked"
money-back satisfaction guarantee.
The PStyle
www.kristascups.com
The PStyle is a long, thin, open-topped urinary device made of stiff plastic, with rounded edges for user comfort. It combines the features of the coffee can lid (open top, easy to place) and the medicine spoon (stiff plastic), which may make it easier to use for some people. Because the device is stiff and fairly large, it is not easily slipped into a pocket unless you happen to be wearing baggy pants. However, its long size and stiffness can help clear the fly of pants without drips. Cost is $12, and is available in 6 colors.
The Whiz
www.whizproducts.co.uk/en
The Whiz Freedom is a thin, flexible, reusable funnel-like device made of a medical-grade plastic called a TPE (thermoplastic elastomer). An anti-bacterial/anti-fungal agent has been added, and it has been treated with a plasma coating so that
it repels liquid. The addition of the plasma coating means that only a few droplets
may remain on the surface of the device which are easily shaken off. The Whiz Freedom
costs £8.50 (that's in British pounds).
You can purchase medical grade tubing from the site as well to extend the overall legth of the device. Prices can be converted to U.S. dollars at www.xe.com/ucc.
The Pee-Zee
pee-zees.tripod.com
This is a foldable, lightweight plastic funnel device that comes in 5 colors: purple, blue, green, yellow, and pink. It is fairly long and wide at the end that meets the body, but it folds flat. Cost is $12.50 Canadian/U.S.
The SheWee
www.shewee.com
Shewee is a molded, semi-clear, polypropylene funnel with a liquid repellant coating to help minimize the amount of droplets left on the device after use. Cost is
£6.00 (that's in British pounds).
You can purchase extension tubing from the site as well for £1.50 to extend the overall legth of the device. Prices can be converted to U.S. dollars at www.xe.com/ucc.
Freshette
www.freshette.com
The Freshette's design is that of a lightweight plastic funnel with a 6"
retractable extension tube. It is held in the palm of the hand and cupped against
the body to make a seal. It is a little bit larger than the medicine-spoon type
designs, but for some may be easier to use. Cost is one for $22.95 or two for $41.00.
Sani-Fem Freshette F.U.D. (feminine urinary director)
www.rei.com
The Sani-Fem Freshette offered by REI seems to be of a similar design to the
Freshette (though it is unclear if the tube on REI's model is retractable),
and is available at a slightly lower price. Cost is $19.95. Search for "Sani Fem" on the REI site to find the product listing.
Lady J
www.campmor.com
The Lady J is also a plastic funnel design similar to the Freshette, but
it does not feature a length of tubing at the opening (though you could probably
modify it to add tubing if you are so inclined). The shape of the funnel edges
is also a bit different from the other two listed above. Cost is $6.99. Search for "Lady J" on the Campmor site to find the product listing.
Urinelle
www.magellans.com
Urinelle also uses a funnel design, but it is a disposable paper product.
It comes in packages of seven biodegradeable funnels at $6.85 per pack. Search for "urinelle" on the Magellan's site to find the product listing.
Whizzy
whizzy4you.com
A disposable product made of heavy paper, the Whizzy is foldable, opening into a V shape when needed. Comes in travel and extended sizes. Package of 10 travel size is $10.00, package of 20 travel size is $17.00, package of 10 extended size is $12.00. Extended size allows you to stand further back from the toilet or urinal.
Stand-to-Pee (STP) Packers
The products listed below are soft packers that feature a length of flexible
tubing through their shafts to allow the user to pee through the packer. These
STP-packers are modified "thermal gel"/"softskin" packers
(described more fully in the packing
section of this web site).
Home Grown Packer Line, STP options
www.hg-prosthetics.com
This is an Australian site that offers several models and sizes of soft packers,
made of elastomeric gel, that can be converted into STP packers. The packers
are made by an FTM community member and are sold at a very affordable price.
The J Jay 4.5", Hugo 5.5", Average Joe 3.5", Johnson 6", and Peter 3.5" models can all be equipped as STP packers. The base price for J Jay, Hugo, and Johnson (without STP) is AU$50 in "flesh" coloring (AU$60 for custom color); Average Joe and Peter is AU$45 in "flesh" coloring (AU$50 for custom color). To add the STP feature, add AU$35.
Prices are listed in Australian dollars, and can be converted to U.S. dollars at www.xe.com/ucc.
The Pissin' Passin' Packer (PPP)
djknowsdicks.com
This item is also a soft-packer that has been modified with tubing to create
a stand-to-pee packer. DJ offers 4 sizes (Teeny is 3-1/2 inches, Small is 5
inches, Medium is 6 inches, and Huge is 7 inches) and 3 different colors (Dinky
Pink, CinnaMAN brown, and COCKasian beige). You can also special order the Dark
Chocolate brown color. All models are $50.00.
FTM S.T.U.D.
www.thetransitionalmale.com/ftmstud.html
The FTM S.T.U.D. comes in two sizes, 3-1/2 and 5-1/2 inches, with larger testicles on the 3-1/2 inch model. Both are made of thermal gel packers and come in two colors: pink and mocha latte.
The FTM S.T.U.D. is available with 3 sizes of receptable: small, medium, and mega-flow. The receptacle is made from a pre-fabricated medicine spoon and dipped in special rubber coating for comfort. A latex amber tubing passes through the shaft of the packer. Detailed instructions for care and use are included.
Each device also comes with an FTM Cock Strap that has been modified for use with the S.T.U.D., featuring an added strap to the backside that the receptacle and tubing can be slipped into when not in use, keeping it out from between your legs. Colors available on the FTM Cock Strap are Black or White. An optional drawstring storage bag is also included in the price of the set.
The FTM S.T.U.D. 3-1/2 inch set is $40.00, and the 5-1/2 inch set is $45.00.
The MANGO from Mango Products
www.mangoproducts.net
BUYER BEWARE: Numerous customers have reported that they never received their paid orders from Mango Products, and have not received responses from Customer Service (as of 12/2009).
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